Monday, September 13, 2010

Grow up please, Dallas fans

I normally don't post anything sports related on my blog or ever because I save my written words for obscure and geeky aspects of everything pop culture. However, football season has rolled around and as a die-hard Washington Redskins fan, I had to support my team against the team's arch-nemesis, the Dallas Cowboys. The Redskins beat Dallas in a tight nail biting game with the Skins coming out on top, 13-7.

First, this video that shows the joy and defeat of a Dallas fan all in a few seconds:

I love how the dude screams, "What are you talking about?!!" as if he cannot tell that Alex Barron of Dallas was practically putting Brian Orakpo of the Redskins in a fucking sleeper hold or some variation of a wrestling move. Why did he do that? Because doing something so flagrantly illegal is the only way to prevent Orakpo from sacking Romo. Would it have happened? Let me check the Magic 8-Ball which reads:

Without a doubt.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Magic 8-Ball never lies. Have faith in the Magic 8-Ball.

Which brings me to the heart of this blog, my amusement at the Dallas Cowboys fan base. They lose one freaking game and it's too much for them. Their world is shattered. You would think they went through a Holocaust of some sort. It's a freaking football game. Mind you, I'm glad my team is the one that came out the winners- but I guess Redskins fans are so numb at this point, we have coped with handling losses.

The Cowboys fans I've met (with the exception of a close friend of mine, who I respect greatly- and am always civil in victory (which is few) and defeat (which is far too often)) for the most part love to rub the Dallas victory in your face. I mean, just take your face and just rub it in there and step on you. I remember when the Redskins lost to Dallas so regularly, I remember a Dallas player commenting, "I wish we played the Redskins every game, we would be undefeated."

So, from the sheer pomposity of that comment alone, I could wipe my fuzzy ass with the sadness of a Dallas Cowboys player or most of their fans after this loss.

And naturally, they can't even credit the Redskins with the win. I had to copy and paste this comment I found online from a disgruntled Dallas fan:

Ok, we’re guilty of what should be Alex Barron’s farewell play as a Dallas Cowboy. We’re guilty of all the other penalties as well. I’ll accept that. What I won’t accept is the feeble excuse for officiating as it pertains to the Redskins O line pulling off the same sort of hanky panky only without a flag. I watched the game twice as I typically do. Once like any other would do. Then the second time I’m using the pause, forward, and reverse functions as any player or coach will do in the film room. On the last FG drive by Washington, Kieth Brooking was horse collared by a Redskin O lineman – no flag. On another occasion Anthony Spenser was taken advantage of by a Redskin O lineman. I cannot recall right now, but there were 2 other instances where blatant and in your face infractions like these were not called. If the call on Brooking had been made, We’d have a 10-7 game on our last possession. I’m not making excuses. The game is over now. But something has to be done about these officials who are unable to handle diversions within the game that stifle their ability to perform at an optimum level. Players are heald accountable. The officials need to as well.

My dear misguided Dallas Cowboys fan, that was nothing but a long-winded excuse. How many games have I had to watch (as a Skins fan) Dallas receive the favorable calls against the Skins and practically assault our wide receivers and get no flag? Redskins fans had to eat it because we just simply were not good enough to beat Dallas. One loss and suddenly it's the ref's fault you lose? Get over yourself- I'm crying invisible tears for you crybabies.

This was another comment I found hilarious:

The Redskins didn't beat us, we beat ourselves.

Re-check the stats and outcome, you knucklehead. No matter how you cut it, the Redskins beat you. There isn't an option of win/loss/tie/beating yourself. If that was factored into our record, the Redskins would have been Super Bowl bound the last few years.

It's what amuses me of a lot of Dallas fans and Dallas personnel as well. Jerry Jones, the Dark Sith Lord of Dallas commented that he had to give the Redskins "some credit". As if admitting they outplayed the 'Boys would ruin his carefully built reputation of an ignorant asshole (which he still comes off as).

Do I think the Redskins are Super Bowl bound? Of course not. I think they will be definitely improved but I don't believe in an instant turnaround. It takes time. You have to build a winner. Face it Dallas, your time isn't that great. Just because Jerry Jones, Wade Phillips, and Tony Romo blow smoke up your ass, doesn't make it reality.

The play-calling for Dallas is troublesome (and as a Redskins fan, I know inept play-calling), your quarterback is decent but very overrated, the offense isn't consistent, and your defensive I can say is solid. Otherwise, as with every season, the Cowboys come in tooting their own horn- but can't put it together. Maybe, I'm wrong- it is only the first game after all, but you sheep who believe that Dallas is a lock for the Super Bowl need to stop drinking the Kool-Aid.

And as a Redskins fan, I can respect Emmitt Smith and assorted other Dallas Cowboys players who I honestly can't remember at the moment, but this team assembled right now? Lots of talent but nothing to show for it. And Dallas fans, learn to be more humble in your wins, when the shoe is on the other foot, it would make me hesitate in gloating.

Until then, here is D'Angelo Hall running back for a touchdown last night:

All Redskins fans, please be advised that a parade will be held on Wednesday in honor of Alex Barron of the Cowboys. Don't be too sad, Alex- we 'Skins fans aren't mad at ya.


Jimtron said...

You know, when I read the title to this blog post, my mind leaped to the classic prime-time soap opera. You know, J.R. Ewing (Almost wrote J.R.R.), Cliff, Sue Ellen, all that. My mind THEN, given what I know of your Sci-Fi predilections, invented some kind of feud between Dallas fans and War of the Worlds fans somehow centered around Jared Martin.

Sadly, it was about football. My scenario was much more interesting.

ThirdBass said...

Lol, the Jared/WotW connection was the first thing I thought when seeing the post title too!

The Sultan of Sarcasm said...

Haha. I agree Jim- that a blog about a feud between WOTW and Dallas fans would have been better. Everyone knows that Harrison Blackwood trumps Dusty Farlow always though. I mean, Harrison's tuning fork has more characterization than the entire Dallas cast.